Since the start of the summer I have been using self portraits to dive in deep and see what’s going on down at the core, what messages I need to hear from my wiser self. What energy I need to bring up to the surface.
I never can guess what will appear. I always hope for happy and contented and more often than not I get a woman that is so drama free, so planted in serenity and non-attachment to appear utterly dull at first to my drama hungry ego.
Ah but she is wise. She inhabits huge space. She teaches me the power and importance of patience and stillness. She is not ruled by her emotions. She sees thing with practicality and logic. She feels like the polar opposite to me. And yet she rises out of me.
Or a warrior woman appears who is so ruthless, spirited and fearless that I at first I am intimidated and wonder ‘who will ever love her? Surely she is too much?’.
But she awakens me to my power. Look at her: Bold, fearless and strong. She could be considered cold at first, but there is great love in her fierceness. You don’t mess with her. Not because she will attack, but because what you think or say holds no power over her. She knows her own mind and heart and that is all that matters to her. You attacks would simply bounce back in your own face. Her silence is defeaning. She is a protector, a warrior and she does not give a sh*t what people think. She knows her own heart and has a strong set of values that come from the core. She will fight for your life. The one you are refusing to live fully. She won’t shut up until she knows you are listening. To your own heart.
I could fill a book with the messages I’ve drawn from my self-portraits, made in the moment. I let the image appear and then I sit with her and wait to hear what she has to teach me.
I used to hate that phrase ‘we teach what we most need to learn’. But I’m starting to really get it.
More and more it’s happening that I get the sense that there is a gentle spirit in me, that is me, but a quiet, hidden part, that is teaching me and leading me to where I need to go.
One of the biggest lessons I learnt out in Goa, which was a full on life changer for me, was taught to me, unwittingly and unintentionally, by myself. Continue reading
One of the my greatest heroes is Brene Brown.
“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time” — T.S. Elliot… Continue reading